Being a stay-at-home mommy!

As I sat late tonight writing a paper for my English class on the topic "My greatest accomplishment this past year" I decided to write about transitioning from a working mom to being a stay- at-home mom. It was one of the biggest decisions my husband and I had to make, but also the most rewarding. Every day is a new challenge of meeting new expectations of what is being required and requested of me. Not only do I stay at home now, I also decided to take a few courses at our college nearby. So tonight I decided to write this blog about the stay-at-home-moms and the misconception people have about how easy their job is.
  
When I think about all my daily duties that are required for only taking care of my four I often wonder how women used to raise such large families. Back in the older days women did still live with their families in the same household so there were always many many hands to pitch in with the daily duties. But these days, if you’re a stay-at-home-mom, the load is all on you. It’s up to mom to get the kids up, feed them, clothe them, get them to and from school/activities/playgroups, shop for food, cook dinner, do the laundry, change the sheets, tidy the house, holy cow I’m exhausted just typing that....


Now many Stay-at-home-moms have very helpful husbands who do their fair share of work around the house.  I happen to be one of those.  My husband is wonderful at helping out when he comes home from his long day of work.  And if he’s not helping with something where I really need his help, I know I can tell him I need help and he’s more than willing to help with it.  Its because of our teamwork that we are able to keep our house in order. Often times people have this misconception that we all need to be super-moms.

My question is where does this expectation come from?

Do we put it on each other?  Do my friends and family and neighbors think that I need to have a super-clean house and super-happy kids who eat super-healthy food all the time and have super-cute clean clothes?  My personal opinion is no.  And maybe that’s just me.  Maybe I’m just lucky that I have such a wonderful community around me that doesn’t expect that from me.

Does it come from media?  Do we see TV shows or read magazines and books and see what the media portrays as “perfect” and so we feel we must strive to be that?  Personally, I think that’s a huge influence. How often have you picked up Better Homes & Gardens and thought “Wow, I wish my house looked like that?”  And consciously or subconsciously I believe that registers in our minds as what a home should look like rather than what a real home looks like.  And it causes us to go buy things to try to be more like that version of perfection we now have in our heads.

Now I’m not blaming the media or Better Home and Gardens for stay-at-home mommy woes.  I love looking at magazines and watching tv for ideas for how to make my home look nicer.  But I’ve chosen to not let it weigh on me.  I have a nice home that I try to keep tidy and neat (as best I can with 4 kids ages 10 and under) but I’ve decided that my priority in my life today is NOT my house.  So my decor may be outdated, my shelves might have some dust, and you will step on a toy at some point if you’re walking around my house, but that’s because we LIVE in our house.  It’s not a museum, it’s not a show home.  It’s our home.  Which includes three active little boys and one princess who love to play and make messes the way little kids should.

I hope other moms out there are doing the same thing I am.  Not necessarily with their homes, but I hope they’re evaluating their lives, deciding what is important to them and focusing on that while letting the rest fall to the bottom of the list.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, per se. Nor am I saying totally neglect your home and let it fall to shambles.   I wanted to stay home with my kids.  We chose this life.  I could have very easily gone back to work.

I just think stay-at-home-moms don’t get even close to the credit they deserve.  When you mention that you’re a stay-at-home-mom you get responses like “Oh, you have such a hard job!” or “Oh, staying home with kids is so rewarding!”.  But I often feel people say it just because they “have to”.  Because they don’t want to look like a snob by saying what they really think “How hard can it be to stay home with your kids?”  (Except for those moms who have stayed home with their kids.  They know.)

Well if you’ve never done it, you don’t even know the half of it.  It is without a doubt the hardest job and yet the most fulfilling job you’ll ever have.  And I’m so glad that I have the opportunity. To all my other stay-at-home-moms. Keep your head up, stay positive, and remember whats important. 

Being a mother is learning about strengths you didnt know you had and dealing with fears you didnt know existed

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